Last night I had another recurring dream abut a woman I used to work with when I taught at BU, a woman of unquestionable dignity and great spirit and wonderful soul. Her name was Sandy and she had a whole in her heart. Why I have recurring dreams of her, I cannot understand. Or maybe I do. Whatever the case, my thoughts are with her now, and her courage years ago as she faced some rather periolous surgery. I only regret not getting to know her better. She was a good person. This brings me to some thoughts about how some of us cry in a sound booth, sobs and weeping unheard. Still real. Still potent. Silent. Still. Who was it who said men lead lives of quiet desperation? Thoreau? Let us focus our attention on all of the lives of quiet desperation lived daily, weekly, decades, throughout history and give a moment of silent memorial to these unknown soldiers. The unknown soldiers that die daily--in Iraq, Afghanistan, wherever, whenever...so much sadness in the world. Elyse

Blindness.  What if you discovered that a very normal and natural part of aging could in a small percentage of cases, blind you if not treated immediately and even if you
were?  What if your vision, something so wonderful that you take for granted were
suddenly threatened, with symptoms that are possibly those of impending
retinal detachment, symptoms that occur spontaneously, but that test the delicate
balance of your life?

Then you might think.  You might begin to wonder, what would I do?  What if I lost
sight in one eye?  How would I live?  How would I be treated and what if I fell
into a deep, deep devolution and into the gutter like a beggar?

What if, what if.  Gets one thinking about how much suffering goes on in this world.
Gets me to wondering how many suffer minute by minute, day by day, far worse
than even my own greatest fears can make me suffer.  Children.  The poor, the meek, the humble and the grandiose.  So much pain.  So much hopelessness.

There is a place where those who are suffering go, and I know in their minds and hearts they go there. It is a kind of sink hole in the middle of the belly, a place of comfort, a link to the third eye for those who have spirited  through days of stress collapsing into  stolen moments of relief.

How many of us suffer in this life, quietly, hopelessly, and without recourse.
How many voices cry in the wilderness, NEVER TO BE HEARD, no comfort, no
compassion, no solace.  No hope.  What desolation in this world of mind, where heart cries and mind flies off in a fantasy of expectations not yet realized, as if disconnected from all heart?

How much suffering this world contains--look around you.  See it.  Hear it. Feel it.
Taste it.  Smell it.  Take moments from your thrills, your dreams, your illusions, your distractions and remember that pain exists.  Maybe not for you, now, but for
others whose cries are muted by your deafening distractions...

Then, tomorrow, on your mundane way to your mundane routine, think for a moment
how grateful you are that you are not suffering now.  And say a small prayer for those who do.

Just finished watching "Little Children," a film with a powerful message. In this exploration of some of the more tragic manifestations of what it can mean to be human, the medium is Hollywood and the message is profound. Having seen Kate Winslet in just one other film recently---"The Holiday"---I am beginning to redefine her as an actress apart from her role in "Titanic"; she has, I believe, matured into a really fine screen personality, complete with humility and studied devotion to her craft. Although a distinct Kate Winslet personality emerges in each of these two movies, her ability to embrace a scene is evident and very winning. I find her especially engaging in three scenes in these two films: That scene in "The Holiday" when she enters her new vacation abode and responds with most believable fervor; in "Little Children" when she walks in on her husband indulging in cybersex; and finally, when she witnesses the emotional breakdown of a sexual predator grieving over his deceased mother and suffering from his self inflicted wounds. Indeed, we all enter this life and grow into ourselves with some emotional and physical wounding, and those of us who manage to heal some of our deepest wounds will not always escape a crisis provoked by those who have not been able to heal, or by those who have been unwilling to heal, the prospect either too overwhelming or simply not an option.

I really love to revisit old friends, just to connect, to tell stories, to re-kindle the in common histories, bare souls, and share food and fancy. One of my favorite moments today? Watching my old friend Ellen construct a sculpture of words, a lovely piece inches away from the garden landscape view from the terrace, more eloquent than I've ever heard her spin her expressions into poetic visions. I like Ellen. I was glad to see her again.

Sitting in the space also was my newer and dearest friend Michael, coming so far from a business trip to Europe and landing in this unfamiliar living room, legs stretched out, yawning, comfortable and open.  I could tell he was glad he came.
Isn't that just what you want from a friend who you invited?  To see they are
glad they came?

At the center of this hub was our friend in common, Evan, trafficking the group with a noisy eye, dancing his dance-- his wisdom beyond wisdom weaving a design for the group from his own vantage point. I so enjoy watching someone do what they do so well--www.kindlingpoint.com


And David, our host, a poster boy for the simple pleasures of life--old friends and new round his coffee table, engaging dialogue with sumptuous dinner--he hasn't aged. How can that be? Maybe I always saw him as "older" and now he is "older" but he hasn't aged? Still something is different and yet the same, and I like that.

And David's brother joining in with his own offerings--oh, that and all this, and all these made a soft afternoon for me after a hard week. 

How is it that we touch each other so fleetingly deep? I thought I saw a drama unfolding there, but the drama was not the thing. The play was not the thing. The thing was to be there, to commune there, to let each other be there. 

Elyse

This must be a season for spontaneity---my brother Joe just phoned from his cell as he drove through Bakersfield CA from the San Bernardino Mountains where he lives en route to Northern Cal, where I once lived. I wish him enough excitement to keep him happy and enough boredom to keep him safe. He'll be back in July, he says---what an adventure.

Elyse again today

So I admit it--I live on the web. All spare time in between work and eats and sleep, I get down to it online. You name it, I URL it-- boundaries of course.   This wild web is to me a new frontier community and we all really do have our own little cyber bubbles to travel beyond walls, over oceans, hills and tundra.  


And while my music is out there--ITunes, Rhapsody, Germany, France, England even Australia, I see a whole new world and my literate fingertips reel on the keyboard so fast, so excited, feeling so CONNECTED!!!

And there's more to tell here:

I stopped teaching two years ago. Now, I work at my music and companion an 87 year old, recently quoted in the New York Times, this octogenarian is soooooooooooooo with it in so many UNEXPECTED ways... and at dinner recently with this senior we all had a back to the past moment by opening some wine bottled in 1949. I was barely a twinkle in my airplane mechanic father's eyes then---right, Phil?

Speaking of Phil, my brother, his son and my nephew, Matt is getting married soon to his long time girlfriend, Andrea. And my niece, Amanda, I hear, is expecting a new arrival, in the wake of the autumnal winds, a small and wonderful and beautiful being.


                                              So Much to Celebrate. 

Then again, grandpa Phil, with Daisuke here in Boston, the Yankees are finding less and less to celebrate.  Ah, but the week is young and what did you say?
The "Real Rocket" Clemens is on the way and Fenway park breathes in anticipation.

From my brother and his sons among others, by the way, I have discovered that Yankees fans never lose faith.  Point in case, en route to the North Shore to sing this morning I heard local Yankees Fans in the Boston area (and no doubt beyond) defying the sports talk show host.  And what did the Boston dj say??? I thought I heard---Click, click , click. (The privilege of the host city????)
Then more calls from Yankees fans and Click, click, click, one out, two, three.....OUT!!!  In between clicks, of course, there were some pretty choice arguments from Yankees fans. 

I'm so glad we have Daisuke.  


Moving along here....


Thank you Jack Borden of www.forspaciousskies.com for these links: www.cloudappreciationsociety.org http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070417/NEWS/704170387/1003/SUBURBS

And thanks to Derek Sivers for the Boston Meetup last week---you give so much.

Thanks also to my friend Michael in Germany this week for the marvelous
haircut--I've been getting all the compliments for you.

Grateful words also to Joan M.  for the beets and the main course and the mother's day visit;

and to Tomo
for great Japanese company and food------mmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm....hope your  flight went by quickly...

And to www.CedzaDlamini.com, the fall will be here before you know it...

And prayers for Anne Williams and also for Michael and wife now living in Venezuela and coping with all that....all dealing with the more serious sacred moments of life. 

And Gregory Stuart??? What is your new email address??

And as for listening?  I recommend Mike Strickland, pianist;
                                                       www.marlenetholl.com, my dear friend
                                                       Barton at cdbaby, great student, coach, musician
                                                       Jonathan Coulton at CDbaby.com
                                                       Strunz and Farrah's Stringweave and Fantaseo
                                                       www.williamackerman.com
                                                       David Cullen, guitarist

Finally, to those who listen to my music, thank you for stopping by and for
fulfilling my wish for more happy ears, for more good vibe-experiences. 

We all work hard, so
also getting back to work is,

Elyse O'C

A couple of years ago, I made a journal entry with some concepts I created from my own experiences--- Use them to your heart's content. Elyse

To listen to the wisdom of the heart is to:

acknowledge and nurture generosity of spirit in myself and in others;

be sensitive to and appreciative of unspoken boundaries;

be serious, deliberate, joyful, and spontaneous in expressing my compassion for myself and others;

engage in empathic action;

 develop and encourage social artistry;

listen and be heard;

be courageous, honest, fair, balanced, persistent and thorough in my self observation;

temper my self expression in consideration of the rights and feelings of others;

invoke loving consideration where there once was none;

give joyfully, without expecting to get back exactly as given, not giving penny for penny, ounce for ounce of miserly giving;

have faith that God and the Universe will provide;

value all life and all experience as potential for wisdom and healing;

put the welfare of others ahead of my own where appropriate and vice versa;

experience self worth beyond separation;

engage in life more fully;

stretch beyond where I fear to go and not to risk unnecessary caution or carelessness;

humble myself before God and acknowledge my ego's trespass;

notice when my manipulations distort reality;

speak and act into the space that is;

notice the terrible two's in me that surface when I feel bored, alone or threatened;

notice that abuse has no gender, no age, no limits, no place in heaven;

participate fully in healing and stopping abuse;

prepare one's inner sanctuary for the inevitable;

come together with others in a sacred space for celebration of community;

risk telling the truth when a lie would be injurious;

take my blinders off when doing the cosmic dance;

notice where I've been, where I am, and where I am going from time to time;

notice where I am always;

nurture my body, the temple of my soul;

give myself and others the benefit of my doubts and suspicions when I can;

balance negativity with the truth;

acknowledge the harm that I have done to others as well as the harm that has been done to me;

love myself and others, for to love oneself is the first and most essential step in loving others;

gently push aside the curtain behind which the "Wizard" sits and say: The real Wizard has no curtain;

teach myself so that I can teach others

be honest with myself so that I deceive and injure others less;

beware the unexamined life, and as Socrates said  "The unexamined life is not worth living;

remember that someone who is unwilling to reflect fairly on their own behavior will eventually do needless harm to others

One of the driving forces for artistic expression is an inclination to spend one's time creating from a source deep within oneself, as if at play, and amusing oneself for hours and days upon end with the satisfaction of creating beautiful sounds and images. In between, an ordinary existence evolves and artists must deal with the same basic survival skills as those whose talents are not so much in the arts. Creation takes on a new context and the artist in the world at large must also create his/her life, yet another work of art, but as well a life reflecting the current social order. Thus, we writers and composers reflect on situations both personal and public and give voice to our concerns.  Most grateful for her listeners is, Elyse O'Connor, Singer, poet, artist, person in the world.

Check out my new website design, the artistry of my webmaster/mistress Jane Murphy, making www.elyseoconnor.com a new place to visit, complete with changing lighting at different times of the day: 5-7 a.m. and p.m. sunrise and sunset--daytime sky--evening sky. Brava Jane and Thank you Thank you Thank you for your technical skill and creativity. Still working on the newest album, title not yet decided. Six new tracks from the studio soon to be enhanced with more instruments and goal for release is this late spring into summer. Received more grants awards for more musical visits to seniors this year, together with Duane Sullivan and Todd Theriault via the Massachusetts Cultural Council in some of greater Boston towns and cities. Also just completed another round of MUSE, Inc. musical visits for their Paul Wiggin Gift of Song award. AND!!! I'm working on laying a track of my newest original, "Gabriel" and practicing the techniques I learned in the new film "The Secret." My vision: 5,000,000 songs and albums sold very soon!!! Blessings, Elyse

Returned from the west coast the first week of this month, want to move there now, but can't seem to forget that there are rattlers, snakes, bear, mountain lions, forest fires, and earthquakes. In fact, a black bear cub punctuated my San Bernardino Mountains trip with a visit to my brother's backyard. However, I imagine those people who do live in CA, including my brother Joe, don't consume their time thinking about such phenomena. In the meantime, I'm breaking out of a box I've recently identified, and having a summer cold that just wouldn't quit has helped me to renew my committment to taking care of physical needs, among them being the goal of getting back in the recording studio. Anyone wanting to contribute to the evoution and/or development of that project, just let me know. Blessings, Elyse